In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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