i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
