Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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