sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
