? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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