Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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