I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
