Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
