drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You pole danced in your parka.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
