Please, let me fuck your mom
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
