If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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