I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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