Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
