We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
