just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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