it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize