the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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