white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
