I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
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