also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
