im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
