we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
