He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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