whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
