I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
