my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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