You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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