Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
