his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
