i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
