Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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