So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
