okay pat passed out under dana's car
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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