Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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