she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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