We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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