dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
