I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
