i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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