We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
