I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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