i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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