Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
