I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
