We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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