just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dick very happy bro
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
