Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
home. puking in laundry basket.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
