At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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