Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize