he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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