I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it was like eating out sand paper
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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