She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
