im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
