I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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