Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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