how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
