I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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