my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize