I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize