He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we're making bets on your personal life
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
