That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
