If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize