Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
