You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
